


She’s My Sugarplum

by TheMockingDahila



Category: Slither (2006)
Genre: F/M, Female Reader, Self Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 03:09:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15676809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMockingDahila/pseuds/TheMockingDahila
Summary: Grant loves his wife and there isn't really a problem with their relationship. The problem is that everyone else would also like to love his wife.





	She’s My Sugarplum

All his life, Grant thought he wasn’t a jealous person. His mother had taught him that jealousy never led to anything good.

However, his mother didn’t have to deal with the problem of having the most adorable wife in town.

Grant considered himself lucky. His wife was perfect. Sweet, kind, cute and madly in love with him. When she had agreed to be his wife, Grant thought he was dreaming. Every day he spent with her felt like a dream. The only time it was a nightmare is when other men were involved. For some odd reason, other men seemed to have problems understanding what a ring on a woman’s finger meant.

Every once in awhile, Grant would run into men who were extremely interested in his wife. His darling spouse, bless her heart, never seemed to notice. She just thought they were being nice. But Grant knew better.

One day in particular, these louses came at her in droves.

“Oh sweetie, look!” Y/N said. “Aren’t they beautiful?”

They were at the yearly Wheelsy Art Festival and Market. Grant stood behind his wife as she looked at some small glass dragons Grant wasn’t a big art person but his Y/N loved art. Their house was filled with art from independent creators. And while he didn’t get some of the works she purchased, he couldn’t complain. Art made her so happy. Her happiness was all Grant wanted in life. He also wanted the glass blower who was grinning at his wife to drop dead.

“Look at these colors!” She said. “They’re gorgeous!”

“Why thank you little lady,” The glassblower said smugly. “I pride myself on making pretty things that pretty ladies will enjoy.”

“Such a charmer,” Y/N smiled at him. “Sweetie, which one do you like? I was thinking we could put one in the bathroom. Do you like the purple one? Or what about this blue one? Oh, but this green one is gorgeous too!”

The glassblower looked up at Grant, the smile disappearing from his face. Grant went to stand by Y/N, placing a hand on her waist. He grinned as he looked down at the glass sculptures.

“Why don’t you choose sugarplum?” Grant kissed her head.

Y/N ended up choosing an orange and yellow dragon. Grant, being the gentleman that he was, carried it for her. Happy as can be, Y/N hugged Grant’s arm as they walked around the other tables. Grant managed to smile, hoping all the other men would see that Y/N was clearly his.   
It was really hard not to be proud of his little Y/N. Grant loved her so much. He remembered the day they met. Every morning, Grant went to a little bakery called Pastry Paradise to grab something for breakfast. One day, he found an extra pastry in his bag. Confused, Grant went to the cash register to ask if he needed to pay extra. He found Y/N behind the cash register.

“Nope! All handsome men get a free pastry!” She replied with a smile

Those words had made him blush brighter than a cherry. He continued going to the bakery every day, hoping he could get the courage to ask Y/N out to dinner. He never did though; Y/N beat him to the punch.

There was a showing of Singing in the Rain at the local theater, and Y/N asked if he was interested in going with her. Grant jumped at the chance. Before he knew it, they had been dating for two years and then, he had asked Y/N to marry him.

She hugged his arm happily until she stopped at another booth. This one was selling art made from bottle caps. Grant found it a bit garish, but Y/N had fallen in love with a self-portrait of Van Gogh.

“It’s beautiful!” Y/N picked up the piece. “Sweetheart look.”

“Oh, it’s Vincent Van Gooey,” Grant said.

“Van Gogh dear.”

“That is what I said. Van Gosh.”

“You are such a dork,” Y/N sighed, shaking her head. “You’re saying the name wrong on purpose.”

“What? Me? I’m shocked sugarplum,” Grant feigned hurt. “You wound me.”

“Dear god, can you be normal for like two seconds you big goof!” Y/N giggled.

“If I’m so goofy, then why are you smiling at me?” Grant asked with a wink.

“Can I help you, folks?”

The owner the both had returned. It was a young man with a name tag that read Ricky. Y/N smiled at the man with her trademark sunniness.

“Yes, how much for this?” Y/N held up the portrait.

“That piece is $20,” Ricky replied. “But for you, only $10.”

“Oh, am I getting a discount?”

“I only give discounts to lovely ladies.”

“Isn’t that sweet,” Y/N said, reaching into her pocket to grab her wallet. “Here you go! Ten dollars even! Alright honey, let’s go!”

Ricky stared at the money in hand as Y/N walked away. The dejected look on his face made Grant chuckle. He followed after Y/N, wrapping an arm around her. She looked up at him, giving him another one of her big, warm smiles. It was amazing how one person made him so happy. Y/N was like a ray of sunshine in a dark, cruel world. Nothing could upset her. Grant was convinced that when Y/N was born, God had placed a rainbow in her soul.

“Grant, you’re staring at me.” She suddenly said.

“Can’t help it sugarplum,” Grant grinned. “You’re just so goshdarn beautiful.”

“Oh, you tell me that all the time,” Y/N giggled. “You’re such a charmer.”

“Naw, I’m just honest.”

Grant kissed her cheek, making her giggle. They continued to walk around the booths, Y/N oohing and ahing at all the works. Grant stayed by her side, eying any man who looked her way. He felt somewhat bad for acting this way. He knew Y/N could take care of herself, but at the same time, he was so protective of her. Plus, these men just didn’t seem to understand she was taken. He said nothing of course, not wanting to make her worry.

“Today has been so much fun!” Y/N said as night began to fall. “I love coming here every year!”

“Ready to head on home?” Grant asked.

“I guess so. I’ll just OH!”

Y/N ran over to a lone booth that they had missed. The art was all retro, styled after pin-up models, comics and Norman Rockwell. Hanging on the wall was a painted picture of Eartha Kitt, Lee Meriwether, and Julie Newmar. Each of them held a cat. Grant saw Y/N’s eyes sparkle.

“Sweetie, look! It’s the three actresses who played Catwoman!” She said excitedly.

“Wow, that’s a good eye,” The man sitting behind the booth stood up. “Most people only recognize one of them.”

“How much do you want for it, sir?” Y/N asked.

“Please, call me Adam.”

“Alright Adam,” Y/N looked, back at the painting. “How much for it?”

“I’ll give it to you for free,” Adam smiled. “Under one condition.”

Grant was getting a bad feeling in the pit of his gut.

“A condition? Well what is it?” Y/N asked.

“A kiss.”

Y/N’s eyes went wide with shock. It took all of Grant’s control not to jump over the table and sock Adam right in the face. Never in his life had Grant heard such a brazen proposal. Who did this man think he was? Grant was just about to say something when Y/N picked up a sculpture from the table and smacked Adam across the face with it. It was Grant’s turn to be shocked. Calmly, Y/N put the piece back down before grabbing Adam by the collar.

“Listen here scumbag,” Y/N’s voice changed. “Do you see this ring on my finger?”

She held up her free hand, showing him the gold band.

“Do you know what this means? It means I’m a married woman. That man behind me?” She pointed to Grant. “He’s my husband. We dated for two years and have been married for seven. He’s an ex-Marine, sells used cars, volunteers on the weekends, takes spiders outside of the house instead of stepping on them and is the most handsome man on the face of the planet. You, on the other hand, are some foul-smelling, cum guzzling, fart eating dirtbag who tries to get women to kiss you by offering free posters. Why on Earth would I even consider kissing you?”

“I–um–I–”

“Now here is what going to happen. You’re going to give me that painting for free. You’re also going to pack up your stand and leave. I don’t want some shitstain like you hitting on other women. Got it?”

“Yes.”

“That’s yes ma’am to you!”

“Yes ma’am! I’m sorry ma’m! Please, don’t hurt me ma’am!”

“Now wrap up that picture and then get the hell out of here!”

Y/N let go of Adam’s collar, allowing the terrified man to grab the painting and wrap it up. Once he did, Y/N took the painting and walked away. Grant’s smile almost split his face. He looked back at Adam.

“That’s my sugarplum,” He said, before following his wife.

“I’m so sorry you had to see that Grant,” Y/N had returned to her normal self. “But that man just got under my skin!”

“It’s alright babygirl,” Grant wrapped his arm around her. “Did that big meanie scare you?”

“Uh-huh,” Y/N nodded, making her eyes big. “Save me?”

“Have no fear, super Grant is here!”

Grant managed to scoop Y/N up, making her giggle with glee as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He grinned as she gave him a kiss.

“You’re my sugarplum, forever and always.” He told her.

“And don’t you forget it.” She replied.


End file.
